Rants in the Pants, Episode 22, Woo! Wooo!

Ira Lee White
3 min readMar 27, 2024

We’ve got a big one today, folks! The world is coming to an end, the stairway to Heaven is full and the only exit is the wide road to Hell. Our grid will be knocked out. The gubmint will unleash highly pathogenic diseases on us. The aliens are coming to take over. If not them then the Russians. There will be a spiritual awakening. It will be a sign the Devil is going to rule, (as if he isn’t ruling already) ….

All of the above are allegations of events I have heard will be brought on by the eclipse in just a few days- April 8. What have I got to say about all of this?

“Day after day

More people come to L.A.

Shhh! Don’t you tell anybody

The whole place slippin’ away.”

This is the song we in my high school band sang all the way to San Francisco as we traveled there for a competition on the day Jean Dixon, a prominent psychic, said the West Coast was going to fall into the ocean. What happened? Keep your shirt on. We’re all still here.

Then there was the comet Kohoutek, supposedly a harbinger of death and destruction. The band Journey even wrote an instrumental about it. Don’t forget the year 2000 when we were going to have another apocalypse due to the new millennium. There have been many others, far too many to mention, but this eclipse is being built up by the media AND the government as something to be reckoned with, an event to strike fear into your little hearts already fluttering over the abundance of fearful proclamations we are pummeled with on a daily basis. I think I’m going to dig a hole and crawl in it until it’s all over!

Wrong!

Get yourself a P&J sandwich and a glass of milk and watch the show. In fact, watch the show right now as a mob of clowns swarm the airwaves and internet to give their take on how it’s all going down. Just don’t take them seriously because, after all, they are mostly clowns. Yes, there are some talking about this event like adults but there are also some grifters out there who just want you to get riled up, so you’ll subscribe to their channel and buy some more specially packaged food that lasts 20 years. Myself, I’m not buying as I figure I would be lucky to still need food in 20 years. My lease is about up.

I do not suggest you not pay attention to what’s going on around you. Just ignore the hyperbole and live your life. As for possible disasters- sure, there might be one. But you can’t do anything about it. Disasters happen whether your shorts are in a twist or not. Stay alert. Be prepared. You should always be alert and prepared. You never know when disaster will strike. Extra food, water, clothing, and an evacuation plan should it be needed are reasonable precautions. Just don’t stress over it. Stress is life-threatening. And if something happens, try not to let fear upset you. No one in a state of fear can think straight and make critical decisions. The only time you need to give in to fear is when you are running from a rhino, and you have to jump a ten-foot fence to get away but the highest you’ve ever jumped is 5 feet. Then fear will give you the power to jump that fence. Otherwise, keep fear penned up. Remember the Medicine Man of a tribe used to use eclipses to gain power in the tribe and hornswoggle them into doing what he wanted.

Now get out from under your bed sheets and listen to this song by Shango. If you can, get up and dance. Yes, dance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxjU8vhV67A

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Ira Lee White

I am a writer living in Oregon. My writings can be found on this site and on my website, www.irawhite.com. I am now retired from the USDA.